Breakups are hard and emotionally draining, but nothing beats a breakup done at the wrong time, it puts the worst in worst breakups.
Timing is everything. Doing the right thing at the wrong time nullifies the good in it. Breaking up might be the best decision, but if you do it at the wrong time, it will amplify its effect on the person leading to a messier breakup.
Here are the 14 worst times to breakup without someone and what makes the timing so wrong.
- When the person is going through depression
For a fact, breaking up with someone going through depression can be catastrophic. It can plunge the person into a greater level of depression. It’s probably not your job to care about them after a breakup but it would still put you on the edge. It is like you just set off a ticking time bomb.
- Will you get a suicide note from the person?
- Will you get a call from their loved one saying the person is dead?
- Will the person stay depressed longer than necessary?
This isn’t just the worst time to breakup for the person alone, it’s also the worst time for you.
- After a major loss
Loss of a career job, death of a close family or friend, business going bankrupt, etc. You get the picture already.
Breaking up with a person at such times should be avoided if possible.
How much loss can they take before they totally break down?
Even if you no longer love the person, but because of the love you once shared it would be preferable to stay till the hard part passes away.
“If someone is battling a major health issue, dealing with a death in the family, or recovering from a layoff, breaking up with them adds insult to injury” — Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Chandrama Anderson, LMFT
- Valentine’s Day
The day of love is definitely a wrong time to pull the plugs off your relationship. Valentine is a day of love and romance, he/she may already be having some expectations of how the day would go. The person would also have a sense of belonging by being among the numbers to have someone by their side on such a special day. Breaking up at such a time is really cold.
- Festive periods
Statistics based on Facebook status updates show that festival periods have the highest breakup rates.
But the crowd could be wrong. This world is getting colder every day, on festival periods we need more loved ones around to celebrate with and be happy, not less.
Breaking up on a festival period can potentially ruin the celebration for that person and even ruin that celebration for the rest of their life, depending on how bad the breakup was.
- Serious/Terminal illness
Sickness has a way of pulling people to the lowest point in their lives. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you do, when you are down as a result of health issues you need as much love as possible to help get you through it.
You that’s not true? Then hear it from the doctors themselves
Redford Williams, Director, Behavioral Medicine Research Center at Duke: “Back in 1992 we published a paper in JAMA that clearly documented this, showing that heart patients with a spouse, a confidant or both had a 5-year mortality rate of only 18 percent, compared to only 50 percent in those with neither spouse nor confidant.”
Antonio Chiocca, M.D., Ph.D., Chairman of Department of Neurological Surgery, Ohio State University: “There isn’t foolproof hard evidence, but I think that the presence of loved ones actively involved does provide an increased stimulus that may accelerate recovery. However, it is difficult (probably impossible) to prove.”
If you must breakup with a critically sick person, please do it after the person has gone out of the critical zone and can take that emotional pain.
“It’s better safe than sorry”
- Recovering from addiction
An article posted by UK Rehab clearly explains the negative effect of a breakup in the early stage of recovery.
The current rate of relapse drug addiction relapse is 85% a year according to NIDA (National Institute of Drug Abuse). The number on its own is discouraging, then couple that with the main causes of relapse being;
- Negative mood/anxiety
- Lack of possible environment
- Drug-related clues
Of which can all be triggered by a breakup. Therefore, it means a breakup greatly increases the rate of relapse. This makes it the worst time to breakup with anyone.
- Before an important exam or interview
There are some interviews or exams that are capable of deciding a person’s future. Those tests that have the ability to limit or propel your life and career depending on the outcome.
These tests/interviews are to be prepared for without any distractions, mental, or emotional stress.
Breaking up with a person right before the big point could hamper the person’s performance, thereby causing the person to possibly flunk the test.
- At their family gathering
Family gatherings as the name implies are filled with family. It is literally the worst place to breakup with a person. Their family may never forget about it and will continuously make little jokes about it till they grow old.
The person would be scarred the most because the thought of his/her family in one place triggers old memories.
- When they propose in public
Breaking up after a private proposal is humiliating, but it’s nothing compared to breaking up with a person after he has gotten on one knee in front of a whole crowd of people who have already gotten out their phone trying to capture the beautiful moment.
It would take a very long time for the person to get over such a breakup. And even longer to muster up the courage to propose to another girl.
Once you realize a relationship has no future, it’s best to break it off then. Unless you both are in agreement that this is only for fun.
Don’t wait till there is a ring in front of you before you breakup, it will crush the person.
- The person’s birthday
This is definitely a no-brainer. Taking a person’s birthday into a breakup day is very cold and one of the worst times to ever do such a thing.
It instantly ruins what should have been a happy day.
- When they invite a guest over
People tend to act their best in the presence of a guest, they will cover as much of their problems and unhappiness in the meantime to properly entertain the guest.
This is the wrong time to call it off on your relationship with the person. It will undermine the person badly in front of his/her guest and spoil the reason for the visit.
- The exact moment you decide you want a breakup
Breakup isn’t a thing you should do at the burst of emotions. It should be calculated, and carefully carried out. You also need the extra time to decide if that is what you really want.
The only exception to this is in cases of abuse.
- When the person owes you a significant amount of money
If your spouse still owes you a reasonable sum of money, it would be easier for the person to clear it up in the name of love than after a breakup.
Breakup while being owed a large sum of money is wrong unless you have exhausted all options of retrieving it while in a relationship.
In countries with good judicial systems, you could easily recover the money if there is evidence pointing it was a loan and not charity. But in countries with lesser judicial systems, the money is as good as gone.
- When you are caught cheating
When you are caught cheating, an apology is required of you and the feeling of guilt and remorse (This is kind of an unspoken rule). It is not just to help you possibly get the person back, but to also help heal the person’s emotional wounds.
If you flip that and breakup first without the apology or guilt. The betrayal would cut too deep into the person and make it too difficult to love and trust again. It tops the chart in the worst time to breakup with anyone.