Have you ever been given an assignment in class and you keep postponing it because the deadline is still far off? Once the deadline is near, you start finding ways to get the assignment done.
That’s the same thing that happens in most relationships. There are important issues you ought to consider before even getting into the relationship in the first place. But most times we tend to brush it off because all we want at that time is the start the relationship first.
The relationship has started, you are beginning fantasize about the idea of getting married to the person. You can’t do that without first considering some factors in other to have a smooth marriage.
Things to consider before getting married
These things are the key reasons why many marriages end up in divorce, so it should be taken very seriously before considering marriage.
You might not have realized it, but religion has a strong influence on who you are right now. The type of religion you practice and how devoted or not you are is a really strong influence on how you think and behave.
This is the reason why you must first discuss whose religion you both will go with (This is in case the two of you have a different religion).
In a situation in which you are both Christian but worship in different churches, it is very important the both of you have a conversation on whose church will be the family church.
Or you can allow each person to still maintain their individual church or religion. (But I strongly don’t advise this).
At the end of your discussion concerning religion, you both most reach a decision that is accepted by both parties to avoid future problems of one person feeling cheated.
Another very important issue to discuss before taking the relationship to the next step. Families can be overbearing when it comes to your relationships, especially marriages. That’s why is it really important you rule out some major concerns before getting married.
Firstly, try your best so that you and your partner get along with each other’s family well. In a place where that can’t happen, you have to decide on time if that is something you can live with, for the rest of your life. Don’t get married with the assumption that they will get along in the future. Life is too unpredictable and you have to be ready to live with the consequences.
Next, you have to talk about how family members who want to visit will be handled. Do they have to expressly make their arrival known before showing up or they are free to show up anytime? Also, talk about the duration of their visits.
Any decision made should be applied to both families equally.
This is one of the most underestimated things people do not consider before considering marriage. Like I said earlier, some couples have the habit of overlooking somethings because they know the relationship hasn’t gotten serious yet. Because of that, they tend to overlook some habits their partners possess either due to so much love or just tolerance.
When it’s time to tie the knot, such habits must be addressed. Any change you would like your partner to make can easily be done when you are just dating because when a ring binds you both, they are more relaxed and less willing to change.
“Any attitude or character you tolerate in your dating stage, be ready to tolerate them during the marriage”
In this our era, it is advisable to live with your partner in the same house for a couple of months before considering marriage. This would help you discover some habits and characters they may have in their closet and you can start working on them before talking about marriage.
There has been a lot of improvement in this over the years in many relationships. Planning how finance would be handled is another very important topic. Don’t just go and get married with the mentality that you would figure it out when you get there. You just might not figure it out.
Each person's financial habits are unique. Some spend more on clothes, others prefer savings and some prefer investments. Then there are does who are stack gamblers. It’s important you figure out how finances will be handled and set some financial goals you both can work towards together.
This is where a lot of people get it wrong. They build skyscrapers in their head that their partners no nothing about.
Don’t assume your partner knows what you are expecting of them to do. Tell them straight up these are what you expect from them after marriage. This way, they have the chance to tell you in time the ones he/she can do and the ones you both will have to find a solution to.
If discussing all this at once is a little bit difficult for you or you don’t want to spook her about the surprise proposal you have in store for her, then you can bring it down into small bits and discuss it over a long period of time.
And for the ladies, if he has already proposed, it is important you address these issues before the wedding date. I know you are super excited now over the proposal, but it’s important you calm down and address these issues in order to enjoy a blissful marriage.