Having more friends can be really cool and helpful, especially if they are the right friends for you. But if you are an introvert, getting more friends can look like a mountain.
Being an introvert isn’t a bad thing, even I am an introvert and that’s why I enlisted the help of my best friend Lucky Opene who is a perfect extrovert and was great in making friends from high school, college till date, to tell us how to make more friends without being overbearing.
Some drawdowns of making more friends
We can’t possibly talk about how to get more friends without first talking about the side effects of getting more friends.
This is the major reason why many people choose to keep a few friends. The bigger your friends’ cycle, the bigger the chances of one or more of them betraying you.
Though the truth is even if you keep just one friend, there is still a chance that he/she might betray you. So there is really no ideal amount of friends to keep to avoid betrayal. What we do know is that the more friends you keep, the higher the chances that one of them with turn on you. You just have to be careful when making friends.
- Less private time
Friends are very good at invading your privacy. They have a thing for showing up at the wrong time. Times when you really want to be alone.
Shifting from a life of few friends to more friends can really take a toll on your time management.
The best way to tackle this is to have a secret place/spot that none of them know about.
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- Bad peer pressure
This is another really bad side effect of having more friends, especially if they are completely different from you. Peer pressure has led millions astray.
Even the strong-minded fall for it sometimes. Your best defense against bad peer pressure is to carefully scrutinize each person before they become your friend and also build a strong will so you won’t be easily pressured into doing things you don’t want to do.
- More angry days
Opening your heart to more friends also means you are opening your doors to more people who can really push your buttons. Friends are really good at getting you upset when you least expect it.
A way to prevent this is to set boundaries in friendship. Boundaries in friendship are simply lines that cannot be crossed to avoid getting the other party upset.
5 Ways on How to Make More Friends
If after reading all the downsides of making more friends and you are still determined to learn how to make more friends, then here are the ways to achieve that.
- Go to events
You can’t make more friends be staying indoors, except you want just online friends (We will talk about how to make friends online later in this post). One way to make more friends is to go to places and events that your desired friends are likely to be in.
If you like churchy friends, the best way to make them is to attend more church programs and Christian concerts. And if you are interested in making friends how are trendy, then go to trendy events more often and you will definitely make some.
- Be open and contribute to opinion raised
This is key in making new friends. To make new friends, you have to stop being shy and learn how to talk when you find yourself in the midst of a group.
Let me tell you a little secret. The way you talk in the group determines the type of friends you will attract and your worth will be determined mostly in the first encounter.
For example, you are the shy type and you find yourself in a group discussion and you want to make friends. If you answer a question smartly, it would attract a certain type of friends and you will be known as someone who is smart. But if you brag a little and you weren’t made out, you would attract friends who would think highly of you because of what you have told them.
So be very careful of what you say while in a group gathering. Think properly of the kind of friends you want to make and contribute to the conversation accordingly.
- Follow an extrovert
This is one of the fastest ways to make friends in any place on earth. Instead of trying to make friends from scratch, you could just tap into the friend list of a person with lots of friends.
I personally use this technique and it works like magic. It tripled my friends and I didn’t even have to stress myself into searching for friends.
Here’s a little cheat code to help you make the best friends using this technique. Don’t just follow any extrovert, follow an extrovert that people really love and have high respect for (especially the opposite sex ;) ).
That way by following him or her, people would generally have high respect for you too and would easily open up to be friends with you.
But to use this method, you must be willing to strike some conversations with his/her own friends so they would also become your friends. If you don’t, you would only be seen as a friend to the extrovert and never make new friends.
- Visit friends and family often
This is another cool and less stressful way to make new friends. Hanging out with family and friends you normally don’t hang out with will definitely get you a new set of friends.
I haven’t really used this method much myself but it still works. It’s more effective when the family members and friends are the types of people you would want to make friends with if they weren’t close to you, that way you would know for sure that they would keep friends that are just like them.
- Join groups on social media
This is the Holy Grail for those looking for ways on how to make friends online. Social media groups are packed with likeminded people and it would be very easy to make friends from these groups, especially close-knit groups.
Now, all you need to do is to search for groups that relate to who you are and groups that are the perfect match for the type of friends you want and join the group. It would help greatly if you ain’t just a member but a consistent contributing member.
Here are other ways to make friends online
- Join conversations on relevant posts on social media
- Join online chat groups
- Add more friends on FB and chat them up
- Drop sharp and warm comments on the posts of people you would like to make friends with.
- Participate in online competitions.