Having a crush is like having an itch in a place you can’t reach at the time. And getting over a crush is like saying no to a perfect temptation just because it could cost you your relationship.
Not all crush should be acted upon. Some should just remain as a crush or gotten over. I have had quite a number of crushes over the years, and if I had pursued each and every one of them, then I definitely wouldn’t have met my soulmate by now or even met her at all. So in this post, I will give you the perfect steps on how to get over a crush.
Who really is a crush?
Merriam Webster: to experience an intense and usually passing infatuation: to have a crush on someone —usually used with on she’s been crushing on him all summer.
UrbanDictionary: A person who gives you butterflies and makes your heart beat faster. A person that you can’t describe in a word, but multiple words. A person you can’t get off your mind.
LoversBud: A seemingly impossible person to get who you have a strong desire towards. A person you are attracted to from a distance and can’t express your feelings to them because of certain reasons.
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Why is it so important to get over a crush
I am sure you already know how important getting over a crush is, that’s why you are here in the first place. But this post still won’t be complete if I don’t lay out all the possible reasons I know why you should get over a crush.
- Most times, who we have a crush on are usually unattainable. Because to get them, we might have to hurt a lot of people and mostly the people closest to us. Just like having a crush on your best friend’s girl or guy. In this situation, you will have to hurt the one who trusts you and most and have stood by you the most just for you to get your crush.
- Other times, it might not be worth it. In some cases, the one who we are crushing on is on a whole different plain than us. Or better put, we are going in two opposite directions.
A girl/lady who is focused on achieving her dream, which is that one thing she loves more than anything and she then develops a huge crush on this carefree guy in the next block.
The harsh truth is, if she decides to act on that crush, she may lose focus on her dream and become as carefree as the guy. Now, that’s a risk she isn’t willing to take. So, she has to get over her crush for the guy.
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6 steps on how to get over a crush
I am definitely not a newbie in getting over a crush. I was a really shy guy and lacked self-confidence while I was growing up. But that didn’t stop me from having some really crazy and impossible crushes. So, I had no other option than to get over those crushes.
This happened from my teens until I met my special one. So I had no other choice than to master the act of getting over a crush without even trying much.
Here is the simplified version of how I got over all my crushes:
- Realization and Acceptance
Just like fighting your own demon, you have to acknowledge you have a problem and then accept you need help. In this case, you have to realize this crush will be the undoing of you, then accept you have to get over the crush.
If you don’t truly accept this fact, you wouldn’t give the process your whole. You will always stop half way. And we both know that half way won’t cut it. You have to convince yourself a hundred and ten percent, that you need to get over this crush.
Good news, for you to be reading this patiently, then you most have already realized and accepted that you need to get over the crush.
- Space out
The next thing I do is to space out. That is, consciously ignore the person. Remember, “you have to give this your all”.
In this stage, all you have to do is to stop yourself from thinking repeatedly about the person.
If your crush just walks into the room, instead of thinking of how perfect he looks or how charming and flawless she is. Just totally ignore the person in your mind. Your thought should be something like this “So what if he just walked in, who cares” and you better mean it.
Just mind your own business. If the crush is a friend of yours, after the normal greeting, just zone out. Don’t dwell on the thoughts of the person.
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- Do nothing
As simple as this sounds, it could be the hardest to do. Especially if it’s a deep crush and you are highly an optimistic person. The continuous thought of “what if I walk up to him and just express my feelings OR hold on, I could just send him my nude. That will surely get his attention”
Hell No!!! Just do NOTHING. Not a thing. Don’t even wink at her or try to stare longer at her and hoping she would notice and stare back, expecting that she will definitely start liking you from them.
By simply do nothing, you register it in your subconscious that, your suppose crush means nothing to you and you ain’t interested anymore.
- Find a new focus
Now that you have successfully spaced out and done nothing, the next step on how to get over a crush is to find a new muse. Something that you love deeply and probably deeper than your crush.
I strongly suggest your new muse shouldn’t be another crush but preferably a cool hobby or a serious job that can consume all of your attention for a long time without you blinking.
The cool part about this stage is that, if done correctly, it would make you realize how much time and energy you have been wasting thinking about your crush when there are literally a thousand other better things you could be doing. Also, this stage will make you much more productive than you have ever been to.
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- Give it time
This is the ultimate key in getting over a crush. We can’t talk about how to get over a crush without including “Time”. It’s the straw that will break the camel’s back. TIME is such a powerful tool. It has helped me over and over again.
After consistently doing the above 4 steps over and over again, then you have to round it up by allowing time to take its course. You will DEFINITELY get over your crush.
In case you are wondering, won’t it be possible that I just skip all the other steps and give it time, won’t I still be able to get over my crush?
Well the answer is NO. If you keep thinking and dwelling on your crush, and you give it time, it will just get worst. And in extreme cases, it turns into obsession. So in other for time to help you effectively get over your crush, you have to take the other above steps seriously.
- Thank me later
Now, this is the part where I gloat. You will definitely get over your crush if you follow all of the above steps. So as a form of your appreciation, you could just help me to stay connected with you forever by just tapping the red bell button at the bottom right of your screen and enabling the notification.
Thanks so much for reading.