The thought of your loved one being so far away that you can’t reach them physically can really be a nightmare. The record of relationships lasting over a long distance isn’t promising. Around 40% of long-distance relationships fail. Plus, long-distance relationships fail when changes weren’t planned for is 28%. Also, 4.5 month is the average amount of months it takes a long-distance relationship to end
Now you can see that maintaining a long-distance won’t be easy but the first step is to plan for it beforehand to avoid being part of 28%. Next, use the 7 keys in this article to avoid being part of the remaining 40% that fails.
7 keys to maintaining a long-distance relationship
These 7 keys will not just help you maintain your long-distance relationship, it will also build a bridge connecting both of you like you are not apart.
When it comes to long-distance relationships, it’s not enough for you to say you love the person. Anyone on the street can love you the seconds you are with them but the moment you leave them, the so-called love diminishes so fast that you will be certain they never loved you.
So to maintain a long-distance relationship, you have to have a different type of love, a deeper love and it’s called “Pure Love”. Pure love is simply a concentrated love, it has the power to love in the absence of the person.
If you are wondering how to know if your love for the person is pure love or not, just ask yourself this simple question “Can you take a bullet for the one you claim to love?” Pure love would take the bullet.
In other to attain pure love, you have to love deeper and harder, this way when there is a distance between the both of you, your pure love would be able to still love across the distance.
This one of the most overlooked keys to maintaining a long-distance relationship. I strongly advise that anyone who wants to have long-distance should have enough wonderful memories of the person before going far away to continue the relationship.
This key is the reason why when a married couple who have loved each other for a long time, with enough wonderful memories find it hard to find a replacement after the death of their spouse. Those memories they had of their spouse can’t just allow them to move on.
That is why I strongly recommend that before the distance is made, you two should create enough wonderful moments and it’s also recommended to keep some momentous of those moments so it would be a constant reminder of what you are waiting for during the months or years you are apart.
This is the oil in maintaining the engine of a long-distance relationship. Good communication is mandatory in every relationship because lack of it would cause the relationship to die much faster.
But in a long-distance relationship, you don’t just need good communication, you need great communication to be able to bridge the distance.
Technology these days have greatly improved our ability to communicate with people over a long distance at an affordable rate, all you have to do is leverage it. Keep in touch with your lover consistently, and when you guys are talking, don’t just tell him/her about the major things that are happening to you over there, also tell them about the little things as little as the craving you had earlier for ice-cream.
You might be thinking that since the person ain’t physically around that there won’t be any need to sacrifice anything, but the opposite is the case. In fact, you need a bigger sacrifice so it can still be felt by the person through the thousands of kilometers separating you both.
There are hundreds of sacrifices you can make in a long-distance relationship, ranging from staying up all night just to talk to them – Picking the next flight to pay them a surprise visit. Which brings us to the next key to maintaining a long-distance relationship.
This is like a ray of sunshine in a dark tunnel to a relationship. It stands as a symbol of hope, giving the couple the energy boost they both need in other to keep the relationship going.
Planned visits are cool but surprise visits are far better. A surprise visit conveys a lot of messages
- it tells the other person that he must be really important for you to drop all you are doing to visit them that fast.
- Only a person who truly loves you will make such a trip, so it conveys lots of love.
- It also informs the other person that you haven’t given up on the relationship and you are still willing to do anything to make it work.
Now you can see why it’s really important for you to pay your lover a couple of surprise visits once in a while and while you are at it, don’t forget to make loving memories to take back with ;) it would definitely help to maintain a long-distance relationship
Have you heard of that bible verse that says “He that thinketh he standeth, take hid lest he falls”. I want you to keep that in mind always because the moment you think that you gat everything figured out, something suddenly happens that would rock your world.
While your partner is miles away, it won’t stop the opposite sex from trying to make advances at you. Some will come in the form of angels or knights in shining armors.
But you should be ready and willing at all times to stop them in their tracks. If not, it will derail your mind from a lover who is far from you and you will see yourself caving in because you have missed having someone who loves you close to you at all times.
“A stitch in time saves nine” “Prevention is better than cure” I hope those sayings pass the message quite clearly. Stay loyal to your partner at all times, even if he is thousands of miles away.
Never give up
Hope I didn’t make it all this sound easy, I am sorry if I did. There are days you would wonder if it is all worth it and nights you would crave the love and warmth of a loved one.
You need to learn the art of never giving up. You have to learn how to hold on tight when things get dark. When your mind is feeding you with doubts that the person has moved on and you are just doing all this for nothing.
Never give up or you won’t make it to the finish line. It would be worth it at the end and most importantly, it will make you a stronger version of yourself.
It would feel really tiring if you are the only one making all these efforts and the other person isn’t responding as much as you want.
So I would strongly recommend that you share this post with your other half, so he would also know how to maintain the relationship from a long distance. It would make it a lot easier for you and give you a certain level of peace knowing you both are fighting it together in one language.
Important FAQ about long-distance relationships:
Why are long-distance relationships so hard?
Long-distance relationships are generally harder than a normal relationship because it lacks that closeness and personal touch that normal relationships do have.
They are also hard because you have no guarantee your spouse is faithful to you over there, so why should you be the only one restricting yourself.
In times of sorrow and joy, the first person we want to share it with is our loved ones. So they can console us with a warm hug/cuddle with sound advice or they can take us out to celebrate if it’s good news. When the person ain’t around during any of these times, it hurts a lot. You can end up feeling empty inside with no one physically there to fill you up.
Lonely nights are also another strong reason why long-distance relationships are hard. Nights or days when you need the warmth of your lover’s body against yours to make passionate love, they won’t be there to help you out.
Are long-distance relationships harder for guys?
At first glance, you may think the answer is YES. But if you think about it a little longer, you would realize that both guys and girls have the same cravings to love and be loved and needs sex too. So it isn’t gender-specific.
Are long-distance relationships healthy?
Yes, they are healthy, there are a lot of important lessons that long-distance relationship teaches you:
- Patience: long-distance relationship teaches you how to be patient to get the things you want, it’s a very important lesson especially for those who are very impatient.
- Faith: you have no guarantee that the one whom you love hasn’t found a lover over them or not, but you still go on with the relationship having faith that he/she is still yours.
- Dedication: Not everyone has the ability to stay dedicated to a thing for a long period of time, to maintain a long-distance relationship, you must be dedicated.
Are long-distance relationships worth it?
That’s a question that only you can answer for yourself, but here are some pointers. Are you certain that in 50 years’ time you will still love this person? Can you take a bullet for this person? Can you stay that long without a partner to warm your bed?
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