Habits are things we do daily and very much often. Now imagine having a bad habit, imagine how much damage it will cause to the relationship daily? Some bad habits can go as far as causing the end of the relationship. This is why it is very important to learn some healthy relationship habits. Healthy relationship habits are like fiber, each time you repeat the good habit in a relationship, you make the relationship stronger.
Toxic relationship habits
It’s important we take a look at some very bad and toxic habits in a relationship before we look at the healthy and good ones, so you can start making some necessary reforms on time.
1. Too demanding
“I need this” “I need that” “You have to change your looks” “You have to start worshiping in my church”.
It’s ok to make demands, the problem comes when it becomes too much. If it continues for a long time, it becomes toxic to the relationship.
Too many demands make the relationship feel like work to the other person. The best way to avoid this is to cut your demands drastically.
2. Complaining always
Complain itself is not a bad thing, because it’s meant to express your hurt or irritation. But, a lot of people have made a habit out of it. It is very toxic in a relationship because complaining too much simply gives your partner the opinion that they never do anything right and you are the perfect one. That is a really bad notion to have in a relationship.
The best way to handle complaining too much is to pay more focus on their good deeds and appreciate them like the person has no flaw. Then gradually complain about things you don’t like over a LONG period of time.
3. Showing no appreciation
This kills that yawning desire to do something special for your spouse. If after moving heaven and earth for a person, and the person can’t turn to say a simple Thank You, you wouldn’t be moved to do the same thing next time.
This is why it is very important to appreciate every effort your partner makes in the relationship.
7 Perfectly healthy relationship habits
Here are some very practical healthy habits you can start practicing now in your relationship. These habits have worked tremendously well in my relationship and many other successful relationships.
1. Settle all problems before going to bed
Problems in relationships are like sharp arrows shot into the flesh, the longer they stay the more damage they create. So it is very paramount that you make it a habit to try to get the arrow out before it causes serious permanent damage to the relationship.
It is ideal to settle problems as quickly as they are formed, if possible within seconds. But there are some issues in a relationship that can’t be easily brushed off, for those issues you can try settling them before going to bed. That way, you wake up each morning with love and joy in your heart.
2. Regular romantic surprise
If this isn’t a habit of yours already then you need to start making some changes. Creating a regular romantic surprise for your love is a very powerful healthy relationship habit.
Regular romantic surprises will keep the person’s love tank full. It would give the person a lot of wonderful memories to think about when they think of you. Also, it creates a very happy and loving aura in your relationship.
So start practicing regular surprises for the one you love.
3. Equal rights to be heard before a decision is made.
This is where a lot of couples get it wrong, especially my African brothers who grew up with the mentality that a man is ultimately superior to a woman and he alone is smart enough to make always make the perfect decision.
It is important to always give both partners the equal right to be heard before deciding on a path to take. No man is an island, you can never have it all or know it all. That’s why it is important to hear the other person out before deciding. Yes, the man is the head of the home and has the final say, but he shouldn’t neglect the advice of his wife. It is important to make it a habit to include her in the decision-making process.
This is a subject that has been extensively talked about over the years in different aspects of life. But it always boils down to one thing “For there to be growth, you have to forgive”.
When you make forgiveness a habit in your relationship, it leads to a stronger and healthier relationship. It allows growth to continue.
There is a silent killer that hides under forgiveness and that’s half forgiveness/under-the-carpet forgiveness. Do not fall under the category of people who pushes things under the carpet to avoid further damage at this point or forgive halfway.
One day all those things you have shoved under the carpet will get too big and would cause more serious problems that might lead to the end of the relationship. This is why it is important to make complete forgiveness a habit and not an onetime thing.
5. Frequently saying “I love you”
The 3 most powerful words in relationships. Frequently reassuring your partner of your undying love for them creates a very healthy relationship.
It’s never too much but also too small. If you have already told him/her 20 times today, you can try saying it for the 21st time.
6. Constant communication
This is another underdog that has a great effect on the health of a relationship. Constant communication is a flowing stream, it results in cleaner water for every other living things to flourish. But little communication is like stagnant water, always polluted and allows harsh organisms to flourish.
With that short example, you can see why it is crucial that you make constant communication a habit and it will, in turn, make your relationship healthier.
This is one quality everyone on earth is seeking for in their partners, so why shouldn’t you make it a habit. Listening to a partner as they rant about their day or an event, vent about their frustrations, or talk about important issues will make them feel more loved and valued.
Be careful not to always be distracted when they rant or vent because they are only telling you because it’s important they get it out and you are the only one they love enough to tell. If you don’t listen, usually they will end up finding someone who would love listening to their rant and the result of that won’t be funny on your relationship.
This is why you need to make it a hobby to listen to them whenever they want to pour things out. Just listen, it’s a great relationship habit.
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