You’ve met the love of your life. Congratulations! Being in love is one of the best feelings you can ever experience in life and I wish you all the best in your relationship.

Building & maintaining a relationship requires serious commitment, time & effort by both parties. It goes beyond the “boyfriend/girlfriend” tag or creating endearments for each other.  Your usual schedule will have to be adjusted to accommodate your partner. Phone calls, texts, dates, being available for moments that matter, etc.,  require time & efforts and this adjustment is something you must make for your relationship to thrive.

Most times adjusting to a new routine may not come naturally and you find yourself struggling to balance other aspects of your life with your relationship. Over time, you begin to understand that as much as you would love to spend every waking moment with the man/woman in your life, you need to find a way to balance work, study, religion, family & friends while dating. 

If you’re struggling with this, here are some ways you can balance your relationship without missing out on other important parts of your life.

Balancing relationship with studies
Finding a balance between relationship and studies

Relationship & Study

A relationship is one of the factors that can significantly affect your studies.  Whether you’re experiencing the good side or downside of your relationship, not finding a balance between that & study can affect your studies. For example, things that seem harmless such as common couple squabbles & misunderstanding may affect your grades, ability to focus, and more during school sessions. Also, when you’re experiencing the good moments, spending more time with your partner and less time on your studies, it will do your grades no good while the reverse may do your relationship no good either. This is why you need to find a way to balance the two.

I recommend you do this:

As hard as it may be, try to resolve all squabbles & misunderstandings with your partner as soon as you can. Bottling up your feelings or ignoring them will not only affect your ability to focus on your studies but will also create more problems and resentments in the future. Express your feelings and frustrations. Encourage your partner to do the same. 

Talk about your schedule, your free periods, and mutually agree on days you can go on dates, & hours you can make long calls, chat, quick hangouts, etc.  Then create a secluded period when you will focus solely on studying without the interference of relationship matters.

Also, you can bring your spouse into helping you study (that’s only if they agree to take it serious and not joke around). This can really boost your retention and your spouse doesn’t have to feel left out.

Outside these hours, a quick call or text— “Just thought of you and wanted to tell you how much I miss you” “Checking up on my favorite girl/guy. Hope you’re cool?” or similar texts can go a long way. 

If you’re both living together, the long calls, hangouts, and texts are still essential to keep your relationship going.  If you’re in a long-distance relationship, calls and chats are the only communication link you have. Make good use of it.

Read: Fun Things To Do With Your Boyfriend – Indoor and Outdoor

Balancing family and relationship

Relationship & Family

As your relationship progresses you eventually meet each other’s family, having a good relationship with them means one less tension in your relationship.

However, if there’s a strained relationship between both families or between one of the families & you/your partner, it doesn’t necessarily mean the end of your relationship. It just makes it a bit harder for your relationship to sail smoothly. 

Further down the line, you may decide to start a family of your own with your partner. Failing to strike the right balance between your relationship with your spouse and your family will only lead to the death of either the family or your relationship. 

more often than not, married couples find themselves as strangers sharing a roof the moment their children step out of the house. They paid so much attention to the raising of kids that they neglected the one thing that brought about the family in the first place which is the relationship.

I recommend you do this:

Finding out the cause of the friction might help. If it’s something that can be resolved over talks or actions which both parties are willing to take, problem solved! 

If not, talk to your partner and find out how important family support & acceptance or lack thereof is to your relationship. Some people may not mind family friction and are ready to ignore this and continue with the relationship, while some others may not be comfortable with this. At the end of the day, there are just two people in that relationship— you and your partner. Your decision is all that matters. 

Concerning your relationship and your immediate family, you should make it a habit with your spouse to step out every once in a while from the roles of father and mother and step quality time as two love birds. Go for a weekend getaway or vacations to romantic places, date nights or watch the movies together. Do things that would keep the love growing. 

Read: Why Am I Not Happy In My Relationship? 8 Most Common Reasons

Balancing relationship and work

Relationship & work

With multiple projects, tight deadlines, and a busy schedule, spending quality time with your boyfriend/girlfriend may be the last thing on your mind. There you are; swamped with work and falling behind, and your partner keeps complaining about how you barely have time for him/her. Over time, these complaints coupled with work stress may get to a point where almost every action or word from your partner will irritate you easily. If left unchecked, this might just be the first blow to the end of your relationship

I recommend you do this:

As always, communication is key. Adopt & encourage communication in your relationship. Talk about any frustrations you have. It’s easy to assume your partner does not care about how tasking your job is and how much work you’re putting into your job & relationship but how will they understand your challenges when you’ve never talked about it? Even if you’ve talked about it and they are not supportive enough, let them know how you feel about that.  

Be present. Not just physically present, but emotionally, mentally, and otherwise. Ask them what’s going on in their lives. They might also be going through challenges you don’t know about. Ask your partner how his/her day was. That simple question when asked and answered right might just be the stress reliever you’ve both been looking for. Why? Because it enables both of you to talk about your day, frustrations, and any emotional baggage you carry home from work.

Just like in studies, create a schedule. Call, text, and spend time together at hours that suit you both. Find out what works and stick to it. Make good use of your time. Remember, sustaining a relationship is teamwork and you need to give all the support you can & get that support too from your partner.

Balance between relationship and friends
Striking a balance between relationship and friends

Relationship & Friends

In the early months of dating, it’s easy to drift from friends while spending time with beau. Getting to know the person you’re dating, learning their habits, and basking in the newfound feeling of being in love might make it very easy for you to lose touch with your friends. Finding a balance can help you save friendships that matter to you.

Read: 15 Notable Signs He Wants To Marry You – You Ain’t A Fling

I recommend you do this: 

Introduce your partner to your friends. Show up for occasional hangouts & events. If necessary, create a schedule for calls & visits to help you keep in touch. Naturally, your friends may understand that you may not be able to hang out with them as often as before. However, if they don’t, gently explain to them why you may not be able to do so.

Most times, your partner may have reservations about your friends and vice versa. These reservations if left unaddressed, may cause conflicts in your relationship. Therefore it’s important to find out if those reservations are real rather than perceived, and come up with effective solutions to address them.

Bible
Balancing religion and relationship

Relationship & Religion

This might not be an issue to some but might be a deal-breaker to others. It all comes down to how tolerant you and your partner are to the religious beliefs of each other. If there’s high tolerance, then you’re good to go. If there’s low or no tolerance at all, friction from this could hurt your relationship over time. 

I recommend you do this:

Most times, we fear or dislike things we don’t understand. You could both take time to teach/learn each other’s religious beliefs. The purpose of this is to understand and respect your partner’s (and other people’s) religion. Ultimately, some of us believe in a supreme being while others don’t believe in any. Learning these differences as well as similarities could help you understand why people believe in what they do. 

If this fails, reach out to your religious leaders & mentors for more guidance on faith-based questions.

 

Balancing a relationship with other parts of our lives can be easy for some and tasking for others. Any of these categories is normal. If you find yourself in the tasking category, your relationship can still work out. Do your best and encourage your partner to do so too. If he/she is the right person, it’ll be worth it in the end. Good luck! 

Read: How To Be A Better Partner In A Relationship (7 Steps to Success)


5 Comments

  1. Jeremy Parker November 2, 2020 at 6:05 pm

    Im hopeing to keep my Girl Friend as. long as i can. I love Her , we have been together for more than a Year. And im bisexaul

    Reply
    1. LoversBud Editor November 8, 2020 at 6:33 am

      You can keep her if you put your mind to it. I hope she knows you are bisexual, honest is the best policy. The longer you keep it from her, the bigger the damage it will cause her because she will feel betrayed. So tell her about your truth and let her accept you for you

      Reply
  2. Lewis November 4, 2020 at 12:57 pm

    Thanks so much have gain some wizdom

    Reply
  3. Dillon Tavizon November 12, 2020 at 3:40 pm

    .
    I know all the steps I never rush things but I lost my girlfriend in car crash we were together for 6 years and then 2 months prior to I lost my mother i got sober 4 years and I just wanted to leave good message for couples but Im just couldn’t think I had just couldn’t think right losing it and I probaly gonna dead soon too I won’t be here the next you comment

    Reply

Leave A Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *