A best friend is one of the best gifts life can ever give you. That one friend who doesn’t judge or criticize you, a friend whose love for you goes deeper than just friendship. A friend who stood by you through the best times of your life and stood firmer by your side when things went tough. A friend who isn’t blood-related but sometimes you can swear God created you both from the same mold.
Falling in love with someone like that can be scary. On one hand, you have the most beautiful and perfect friendship you could ever ask for and on the other hand, you have developed deep feelings that can take your friendship to a whole new level. But your head keeps running through too many possibilities and ‘what ifs’.
- What if my best friend doesn’t love me like that
- What if my best friend already has deep feelings for me but is too scared to act as well
- What if we start dating and it ends horribly wrong
- What if I tell my best friend I love him/her and I get shaved aside
The list of what-ifs never ends. There are so many scenarios to consider. Do you want to take the bold step or are you going to let your best friend keep dating people you know deep down who don’t deserve such an angel? If you are charged up and you want to take the bold step to act on your feelings for your best friend, then this post is for you.
Is it normal to fall in love with your best friend?
YES!!! It is very normal to fall in love with someone you have shared deep intimate moments with, someone whom you spent a lot of quality time with. It is normal to fall in love with your best friend because he/she is one of the very few if not the only person who loves you beyond your flaws. The person isn’t there for your body or your money or for any favor you can offer, your best friend is there for YOU. Who wouldn’t end up falling for such a person?
Things to do when you fall in love with your best friend
- Confirm if you truly are in love
Ensure you are truly in love with your best friend and this isn’t just a fleeting infatuation or a crush. The last thing you want to do is to lead your best friend on only to discover it wasn’t love. It’s very easy to mistake this kind of thing. You can have a crush on someone but not love the person, though it may seem like love, it is NOT love. Love goes beyond mere attractions or crush, it cuts deeper into the heart and roots itself in the very core of your heart.
I will put it to you straight. It is not worth risking your beautiful relationship on the altar of crush or raging hormones. So think carefully.
- Find out if the person already has feelings for you as well
The thought of the possibility that your best friend might be feeling the same way towards you has probably crossed your mind a million times.
Finding out if he/she also loves you before making any move is very important because you should never test the depths of a river with both feet. Finding out beforehand saves your heart from unnecessary pain and can save your precious friendship from an untimely end.
It can be a little more confusing to tell if your best friend is in love with you because he is already doing tons of the things someone who truly loves you will be doing.
So the million-dollar question is. How do you know if your best friend also loves you the way you love him/her?
There is one simple method that can work. You can easily find out if he has or had any feelings for you by actually asking the person (jokingly of course).
Pick a time when he/she is most likely to say the truth, you know him/her deeply by now so you should know when he/she is most likely to say the truth and then jokingly ask if he/she ever loved you. Maybe you guys can play truth or dare and squeeze the question in but it might backfire on you and your best friend might decide to ask you the same question.
Instead of all that, you can just tell your best friend you read a story recently where the best friend was deeply in love with the person but never said a thing for years and the person only found out after his/her marriage to someone else. Then ask your best friend if he/she has feelings for you or ever had feelings for you.
This would give your best friend a chance to express himself if he/she really does love you. If your best friend immediately opens up to you about their feelings towards you, then congratulations you can immediately come forward about yours.
You might also want to give them a grace period because some people might panic and hide the truth, but after the panic is over and they have processed the information much later, they might come back and tell you the truth.
- Weigh your options and act accordingly
If your best friend still insists he/she is not in love with you, it’s time you make a final decision.
Let me elaborate on the options you have
- still tell your best friend of how deeply in love with him/her you are. Statistics show 83% of married couples married their best friend. So if things work out, you have a higher chance of having a long term relationship unlike the monthly based relationships of these times. Plus relationships that started out as just friends last longer than normal relationships. Guess what? Yours won’t just start as friends, it will start as best friends and that’s a very solid foundation. If you decide to still confess your deep love after he/she made it clear they don’t love you, here are the possible scenarios:
- You tell your best friend and he/she rejects you in a soft manner (no matter how soft the manner may be, it would still hit your heart like a rock). Things get awkward and the friendship is off.
- You tell him/her and they decide to give it a shot even though there is no love from their part except that of best friends. Things don’t feel right and you keep feeling like you are the only one giving the love
- Or they fall in love with you over time and everything becomes more beautiful
- You don’t tell your best friend how much you love him/her because he/she has already made it clear there is no romantic feeling. Relationships only work properly when the love comes from 2 sides and its not one-sided. If you decide not to say a word about your feelings:
- You keep watching your best friend date other people while your heart aches each time they gush over the new date or how bad the person is treating them.
- You slowly stop feeling deep love for your best friend and you find someone else who you love beyond words and who loves you right back. Now you have found love and you still have your best friend by your side. That’s a blessing.
These are 2 of the most likely options and 5 possible outcomes that can play out.
It’s your call, do you still tell your best friend how much love you have for him/her after they told you they don’t feel the same? Drop your answer in the comment section and tell us why it may help someone else who is going through the same struggle.