how to ask her out

How to Ask Her Out and Mostly Get a “YES”

Asking the woman you love out on a date can be frightening. Even the bravest man will have nerves shooting off from every angle because feelings might get hurt just by asking. 

Before you take that next step that will determine the chances of having a first date, you should know that asking a girl out and mostly getting a “yes” requires more than putting the question out. 


Women value men who are intentional about them. When you throw the question out there without considering the when, where, or how, she might feel you did not put much thought or consideration into your approach. Don’t get me wrong; spontaneous moves works, especially when your crush has been waiting for you to ask her out. But if she’s still considering how she feels about you, it might not end the way you hoped. 

That said, if you want to increase the likelihood of asking and getting a favorable answer, we have listed some cute ways to ask her out and mostly get a “yes.” 

8 Ways To Ask Her Out On a Date

1. Plan What You Are Going to Say

Source: Burst

“When you fail to plan, you plan to fail.”

Mapping out a plan for what to say will give you more self-assurance and help you keep on course without digressing or looking uncertain. Also, it will reduce the chances of saying something awkward around her. 

How should you begin? 

Strike a conversation to get her attention. You can start with a topic that interests her, but it should not sound scripted or seem forced. 

The more you talk about something she is interested in, the more comfortable she gets and the higher your chances of getting a “yes.”. Don’t take too long to ask either. Once your love interest starts to laugh heartily at your jokes, pop the question.

2. Choose How You Are Going to Say It

Will you call, text, or approach her in person?

Asking a woman out in person eliminates any risk of misinterpretation. You get to see her reaction and have a greater sense of her mood if you ask her face-to-face. However, you can ask her via text or call if a face-to-face conversation is out of the question.

The important thing is knowing what works best for both of you. So, make sure to weigh the benefits and disadvantages of asking her out in person or over the phone before making a choice.

3. Be Specific and Assertive

One of the important elements in asking her out is confidence. If you wish to get a direct answer, don’t structure your question like this: “Can we go out together?” or ask forcefully like “Let’s go out next Tuesday”. Instead, you could ask: “Name, would you like to go out with me? I have a really great place in mind I think you would like”

Also, be specific and avoid using vague words — Don’t say “can we hang out sometime?” because it can be mistaken for an invitation to a friendly outing instead of one that could lead to a romantic relationship. If you have already been friend zoned, you should make it clear that you are not asking for one of the usual meet-ups. Make it clear that you are interested in getting to know her intimately over a cup of coffee or a bowl of ice cream.

Once she agrees to your request, follow up with a specific date, time, and place (if it’s not a surprise location).

4. Be Polite

Politeness is a must-have virtue that shows the kind of man you are and it is one of the things women want on a first date. She would feel respected and know you value her.

Have a smile on your face when you approach her, say “please” or “thank you” when necessary, and don’t forget to pay her a compliment — women love sincere compliments.

5. Maintain Eye Contact 

There are lots of reasons you should maintain eye contact when communicating with the woman you want to ask out. For one, it builds trust, shows you are sincere, and have no ulterior motives.

Additionally, a study on psychology today reveals that it helps to reduce the chances of her being uncertain and could also increase intimacy. These are all good wins for you. 

And finally, maintaining eye contact portrays you as a confident person even if you don’t feel so at that time. You certainly don’t want to seem unsure of yourself while asking such an important question.

6. Read the Air

Being sensitive to her mood or situation will allow you to gauge if it is a good time — you don’t want to ask her out on a date when she is angry or busy. Asking her at these times will eliminate any possibility of receiving a “yes” and decreases the likelihood of getting another opportunity to ask.

If her mood or situation doesn’t favor you, you could either try redirecting the conversation to a topic that would help lighten her up or offer to help her any way you can. Offering your help is not only a decent thing to do but also elicits a positive emotional response from the recipient. Simply put, you are more likely to get a positive answer after you have helped her.

7. Be Yourself 

“No one ever made a difference by being like everyone else.”

There is no better way to make an impression than to be yourself. Don’t try to be humorous if it is not a part of you — when you try and end up failing at it, you risk losing her attention. 

You want to get her attention and keep it, but you won’t be getting any of that if she sees you struggling with authenticity.

8. Accept the Answer You Receive

After going through these ways to ask her out, you have to brace yourself and accept the answer that comes. Don’t question her response or try to be pushy. Trying to get her to change her mind on the spot would make her feel pressured and ruin your chances of ever asking again soon. It’s a tough pill to swallow, I know. 

Instead, keep a positive attitude—when she says no, say something like: “Alright. I hope to ask you again sometime.”. By saying this, you show that you respect her decision while putting it out boldly that you are not giving up easily. 

Wrapping Up 

Remember, getting the girl of your dreams starts with taking conscious steps in asking her out on a date and making efforts after you get a positive response. How you ask will give her a glimpse of who you are and your intentions toward her. 

As such, your best bet at getting her to agree to a first date is by building trust and confidently asking at the right time. We are rooting for you!