The first step of having a great and long-lasting relationship is to desire it, and the next step is to work towards it. By seeking knowledge on how to be a better partner in your relationship, you will not only become a better partner, you will also build a solid relationship.
That’s why I’m so proud that you have decided to take the bold step of becoming a better partner. So, I urge you to follow the process to the end and never miss a step.
1. Love yourself
This is the first and most important step in becoming a better partner. You can’t give what you don’t have. You can’t truly love another person if you don’t truly love yourself.
How many times do you put yourself first in things? How many times have you agreed to do something for someone else at the expense of what you want?
You need to love yourself enough to stop punishing yourself too much when things don’t work out as you planned. Learn to love your life first. Do things that give you joy first, as far as they are legal and ain’t a sin.
Here is a book that can help you in your quest to increase your self-love. Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life. You can read it for free in amazon, just sign up for amazon Audible AudioBook.
2. Love your partner as you love yourself
After you have learned to love yourself more, its time you extend that love to your partner. To become a better partner or lover, you have to love your partner as you love yourself.
“The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:31
Do you know why love is the greatest commandment in the bible? Because if a person loves himself so much then goes out to love his neighbor as much as he loves himself, he would never do anything to hurt that person. The world would be without sin if everyone could just obey that commandment.
Even the bible knows the power of loving another person as much as you love yourself. When you love your partner as much as you love yourself, you will never intentionally hurt the person. if you do by mistake, you will apologize without being asked. You will also find it easier to forgive the person for their wrongdoing while they try to get better.
3. Upgrade things your partner loves about you
“I love the way you smile” “I love the way you walk” “I love it when you have your puppy face on”. I’m sure you understand where I’m heading to by now.
Recall everything your partner had said they love about you. The things that got them to fall in love with you in the first place. When you have recalled them, find ways you can improve those things. If he loves your cooking, it’s time you blow his mind more by learning more dishes and cooking techniques.
Be careful not to spoil the original when upgrading. For example, he loves your smile, don’t change the way you smile. But to upgrade your smile, you can just add a kiss at the end of the smile. Whenever he makes you to smile, kiss him after the smile. That little addition will go a long way.
Upgrading things your partner love about you is a great step in the right direction in your quest of being a better partner.
4. Work on your weaknesses
You might have seen this one coming. This one is quite obvious. To become a better partner in a relationship you have to work on those things your partner has tried correcting you about.
Most people have the notion that a relationship isn’t meant to change you. That their partner has no right to ask them to change anything about themselves.
But that is so wrong. Life is full of changes, it forces you to change. Your relationship is one of the instrument life uses to change you. Here’s a quick question. Are you the same person you were in your first relationship? The obvious answer is NO.
Your partner is the closest person to you, so they can easily see all your flaws. Try working on the ones they point out to you. Too much of everything is bad, so it is important you know where to draw the curtain.
5. Try something new regularly
Another step to take is learning to spice things up before they get boring. Don’t wait till the relationship seems like a routine or flat ass boring before you try something new or try to break from the routine.
This is one reason why many married couples cheat. Their lives now feel like a routine and boring, but they are the adventurous type. If anyone comes around to break them from that boredom or routine, they will gladly jump at the offer.
So to become a better partner in your relationship, you have to start spicing things up. Take a vacation if you guys ain’t use to it. One very important place to spice things up is in the bedroom. Your sex life should never be boring.
6. Maintain trust and loyalty
All these talks of being a better partner would be worthless if you don’t maintain these two things “Trust” and “Loyalty”. You can never be a good partner not to talk about being a better partner if you don’t have these two things.
Trust and loyalty are part of the foundation of every great relationship. I don’t want you to try, I want you to make sure that these two pillars are never broken. But if they are already broken, you have to make sure you work on them before taking any further step in being a better partner.
7. Push your partner to accomplish their personal goals
Throughout this journey, it has been about what you can do to improve yourself so you can be a better partner to your spouse. It’s time we take a break from all the self-improvement and take a good look at your partner.
You are probably his/her best friend and confidant, no one knows your partner better than you. So pick up a pen and write 3 things he/she wants but can’t get because of fear or circumstances.
Now you have to find a way to help your partner achieve those goals. This might be the most daunting task you have ever done, trust me on this because I have personally tried it.
Here is a quick version of how mine happened. My girlfriend is a great researcher and an excellent writer. During our days in college, I had watched her excel greatly with these two skills. At the end of college, she wanted a work-from-home job. After scouring the internet for weeks, she lost hope and started to search for physical jobs as the financial pressure began to mount.
To cut the super long story short, I helped her use her excellent writing and research skill to start earning right from her bed. You have to see how excited she was when she received her first payment. After this, I also helped give her the push she needed to achieve another of her life ambition and to this day, she never forgets the crucial role I played in them.
I have also seen a woman who got her husband his dream car because he couldn’t get it for himself. His reaction was priceless and he won’t forget that in a hurry.
This brings us to the end of our journey on how to be a better partner in your relationship. Don’t just shelf this knowledge you have gotten. Try them out today and start noticing the difference it will make in your life, your partner’s life, and in your relationship.
I would like to hear about your success stories, so feel free to email me when you succeed and how it has impacted your relationship.