There is no healthy relationship without conflicts, problems, or squabbles. Just like sickness is a factor of growth in the human system, so is conflict a factor of growth in a relationship.
Conflicts in a relationship do not mean a relationship is ruined, it is the manner the conflict was handled that determines the future of the relationship. In today’s topic, we will be looking at how to resolve conflicts in a relationship with tender love and care, to avoid unnecessary heartaches.
Factors that aides quick conflict resolution in relationships
Before we discuss how to resolve conflicts in a relationship, it is important we learn about some crucial things that make it a lot easier to resolve conflicts of any type in relationships.
A forgiving heart
Everyone who has ever loved before will tell you it hurts sometimes. Every successful couple will tell you at multiple points in their relationship, their partner offended them greatly.
The obvious truth is that at one point other another in a relationship, your partner will do something that will hurt you commonly by mistake.
You have to develop the sense of maturity that when such times come, you should be willing to truly forgive the person if the person is truly sorry.
Being a good listen
“There are two sides to a story”.
Knowing when to listen and when to talk is very important when handling problems in a relationship. Also, learn to listen even when you are upset and pissed off. You might end up discovering it was just a misunderstanding or find out the reasons behind the person’s action is actually justified.
Also, when a person knows that their opinions are actually listened to and not just heard, it makes the person more willing to listen to you too. Which in turn makes resolving the problem much easier.
Willingness to compromise when necessary
Life is unfair by nature, so don’t always expect a perfect ending in your direction. Most times, for a problem to be resolved in a relationship, both parties have to be willing to let go of some wants and go for what they need. i.e if the main goal is getting to a location, you have to be willing to let go of the route you want to take and follow a new route that ends in the same location.
Improved communication skills
Not everyone is great at communication. You may be right but if you don’t know how to properly send the information across, the argument and frustration will go on forever. So learn how to properly communicate with others.
Avoidance of venomous words during arguments
During the heat of an argument, it is very easy for you to spit harmful words at your loved ones that you don’t mean just to hurt their feelings. But it is those harmful words that make it a lot harder for the conflict to be resolved. Soon, the bone of contention would change from the original problem to what he said and she said.
Don’t allow things to fester
Drop the habits of sweeping important issues under the carpet because you want to avoid a conflict. It will someday grow into a monster that will end up causing more damage or rip the relationship in two.
When a problem arises in a relationship that bothers you, trash it out with your spouse properly. The earlier you nip the bud at the root, the earlier you avert an incoming danger.
How to resolve relationship conflicts/problems
After taking care of the above factors, resolving any conflict would be less stressful. Here is the path flow of resolving conflicts in a relationship.
1. Remove pride
You cant go ahead to resolve a conflict carrying a metric ton of pride on your shoulders, you have to lighten that load.
Take away all forms of pride or ego you may already have for the sake of your relationship. Pride makes it impossible to reach a fair ending, so drop that pride and resolve the problem at hand.
2. Communicate your point properly
Clearly passing your point across to your partner in the most sensible way possible makes it a lot easier for conflicts to be resolved. If you keep talking and it seems the person isn’t still understanding your point of view, take a break from the argument to calculate and articulate your thoughts and how to present them in the most understanding way possible.
In the heat of a conflict, its easy for the couple to lose sight of the main bone of contention or even be arguing about two completely different things. The best thing to do at such a point is for both couples should take a step back from the heated conversation and clarify if you are both on the same page and not misunderstanding each other.
Every often, couples argue even when they are both saying the same thing. The best way to avoid this is to break out of the argument for one moment and ask the person a few questions to clarify.
3. Apologize and take responsibility for your wrong
Never underestimate the power of a sincere apology. It is extremely important that the moment you realize you are wrong, you immediately apologize and take responsibility for your actions.
There is no shame in being wrong, its a human factor, we all can’t be right every time. The shame comes when you decide to counter-attack instead of apologizing, which prolongs a conflict unnecessarily and causes more damage.
4. Make compromise when necessary
When conflict reaches a deadlock where both spouses are completely unwilling to agree to the other person’s opinion, the best way to resolve such conflict is to make comprise. “Meet me halfway”
A certain level of compromise can be found in every long-lasting successful marriage. This is mainly because when they get to a roadblock in a serious issue, they decided to reach a compromise, shake hands, and go back to loving each other.
Always try your best to resolve the issue completely and only use compromise on a few occasions in matters you can afford to compromise on without future regrets.
5. Let it slide
You can resolve a conflict by simply letting it slide off before it gets heated. Let us face it, there are some issues that are not worth your time or energy. Just a simple “sorry” or silence on trivial matters can save you a lot of energy and time regardless of who is right or wrong. Also saves the relationship from unnecessary strains.