One of the most controversial questions today is. “Is it necessary to be friends before dating?”
Well before I give you my own answer or opinion on the question, I would like to show you some of the importance of being friends before dating.
I was asked to write on this by my own brother. At the end of this article, I will tell you why he requested I write on this.
Importance of friendship before dating
There are several importance and advantages of being friends before dating. But I will talk about the 7 key importance alone
Do you realize you had to learn the alphabet before you learned how to make sentences? Everything on earth has foundations/bases. The same thing applies to relationships. Friendship is the foundation for every relationship.
During the friendship, you are given the opportunity to build a solid foundation upon which the relationship withstand on.
The best foundations are formed when both parties initially have no intention of dating before becoming friends because at that point you won’t try hiding your flaws from each other.
But even if you but have the intention to date from the get-go, it’s still very much ok. If you don’t rush into dating and just be friends with him/her, it will still give you a foundation.
The reason why it’s important to build a solid foundation now is that there will get to a point in the relationship where it might seem like the love is no more there. It’s the friendship you first had that will pull you through those dark times till you ignite the flames of love once again.
2. Stronger bond
Friendship before love is like adding an extra coat of bond to the relationship. When you dive into dating without being friends first, the only thing binding the two of you is just love.
But by first becoming friends before dating, you automatically add a second bond. Remember, it’s always better to have more than less.
Being friends first before dating can really really boost your trust in each other. During the friendship, you will discover the type of person he/she is and what to expect and things you can strongly say “I trust him, he can’t do this” or “I trust her, she will never do this”.
Though, we all know people can be full of surprises at times and hide their true selves for a very long time.
And that is why I strongly recommend first hiding your attraction from the person and give the person room to freely act around you and show you their flaws.
At that point, it is up to you to decide if you can accept the person with such flaws and his/her strengths.
That way you will know beforehand what areas to trust the person and what areas that you should doubt.
Remember how teachers will teach you an easy equation and then turn around and give you super hard equations in the exam? Well, that’s how it is when you try to skip being friends first before dating.
When you date first, it gives you enough time to understand who you are in love with before actually dating them.
When you understand your partner better, it would help to avoid some future unnecessary arguments. It will also help you pinpoint the areas he/she needs brushing up in.
So why would anyone want to skip friendship and jump into dating.
5. An extra dose of joy
Imagine dating a person you understand properly, someone who loves you completely and you still have that pre-existing friendship. It’s definitely something many people envy.
I was friends with my girlfriend for almost one year, and because of that friendship, I have this extra dose of joy that wouldn’t have been there if we jumped into dating first.
Till today, whenever people see us they envy us. And we have even become role models to others. Even my friends tell me from time to time that they want to have a relationship like mine.
6. Good communication
One of the major importance of being friends before dating is that it gives you time to create a good communication system with your lover. Good communication is one of the pillars of a long-lasting relationship.
Have you seen were two people are saying the same thing, yet arguing thinking the other person is saying something different? It happens a lot in relationships that doesn’t have a good level of communication.
You might have heard people say something like “Menh, I don’t know how to tell my girlfriend/boyfriend ………..” when you jump the gun and start dating without friendship, it can make it difficult for you to tell your special one some sensitive information because you might not know the best time and the best way to tell the person.
7. A higher chance of having a long-lasting relation.
This shouldn’t come as a shock by now. It’s as easy as adding 1+1. Any relationship that has all the above-listed qualities is bound to last much longer than the average life span.
Just close your eyes for one second and imagine you are dating someone who you could tell anything, someone who completely understands you, who isn’t just a lover but a companion. Someone who you trustfully. Imagine the time of solid foundation that would give, plus the extra bond it would give.
Now tell me, don’t you want to get that too? If I have it, then you can too.
The answer to the question I asked earlier is “YES” I think it’s absolutely necessary to become friends first before entering into a serious relationship unless it is just a fling.
To my second promise. The reason why my brother personally asked me to write on this is because he noticed that whenever he skips the friendship period and dive into dating, the relationship is filled with a lot of problems.
But whenever he stays friends with her first before dating, the relationship lasts a lot longer and happier.
P.S I ain’t saying that all relationships that don’t start from friendship first are bound to fail. What I am saying is friendship gives you an extra edge, so if you want a chance to get a long-lasting relationship, then consider becoming friends first.
I hope this article was a great help to you. Thanks for reading.