“My relationship is boring, wish I could do something about it.” This is one of the problems that exist in most relationships. After knowing your partner as much as possible, there’s no more mystery to solve, no more need of some unnecessary drama you guys usually encounter. It now seems like there is no more fun— just plain old routine. But your inner self is craving for something more; something better, a little spice. And that brings about the question; how do I spice up my relationship?
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Why should you spice up your relationship?
To most people, plain means boring. It’s human nature to always crave for something new once we get used to the old. The first reason why you should spice up your relationship is to ensure it doesn’t get boring. If it’s already boring, no big deal, spice it up to get it out of that zone.
The second reason is to avoid break up. People actually break up when a relationship gets boring. Then they hide the real reason for the breakup using other trivial matters such as, “she has big ears”, “he has a baby face”. Seriously? Didn’t you know this before starting a relationship with them? So why is it an issue after 3-5 months?
The third reason — for those who still remain in a “boring” relationship without making an effort to change it, it leads to unhappiness. This is because at this point, it is evident that the relationship is boring but they aren’t ready to either work towards making it right or letting it go.
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At what point should you spice up your relationship
Let me share a personal experience: For 3 years, I’ve been in a relationship with the most wonderful girl I’ve ever met. We were 100% certain that our relationship was rock solid and needed nothing extra. We have issues like relationships do, but we always resolve it as soon as possible. We were, and are still crazy about each other.
Some time ago, we were at a point we considered to be the best place we could be in our relationship. A few weeks later, a funny thing happened — we had to be at the same place at the same time for a 3-week orientation for a graduate scheme. In those 3 weeks, we saw each other every day. When we got back, we noticed that the experience of spending that long together made us closer than we could have ever imagined; even though we thought we were at a “perfect” zone.
That experience taught us something— you shouldn’t wait until your relationship becomes a mere routine before you can spice it up. To me and my girlfriend, we were as close as humanly possible and therefore, needed nothing extra at that period. We were always waiting for our relationship to become dull before we could take action. This shouldn’t be so. Vacations shouldn’t only be for when you or your partner is pulling away. Date nights shouldn’t just be on his/her birthday. Love texts shouldn’t just on his/her birthday or your relationship anniversary.
Spice up your relationship not just when it gets boring, but also when things look all rosy.
How to spice up your relationship
There are literally a million things to do that will spice up your relationship, but I have grouped them into 5 categories. You may have been using one category but haven’t tried the other category. This is your chance to try other ones. I suggest you carefully read the 5 categories and try to implement them one at a time and not all at once.
1. Trying new things
Very few people actually love and enjoy routine life. So if you and your partner are part of those few people, then there’s no need for you to try this category. But if you are among the majority that craves something new, then this category is for you.
One of the best ways you can really spice up your relationship with this category is to try things that are completely new for both of you and not just new to one person. You could both go for sky diving, ice skating, or any other activity. Here are 17 Things To Do When You Get Bored In Your Relationship
2. Sex life
It’s time to get freaky. During the early phase of your relationship, sex may never be an issue. From trying new positions to trying it in new places, you both have your hands full at this point. Once a position that satisfies both of you is found, it’s very common to stop trying other positions and stick to it.
This shouldn’t be the case. Try new things and styles, not just to get satisfied easily, but for the fun of trying it together. For example, you could try using different sex toys, try role-play, or even foreplay with Ice cream, honey, etc. There’s a long list of things you can try in bed, so get creative.
Oh! And make sure it’s not something harmful so you won’t get featured in the next episode of “Sex brought me to the ER”.
3. Couple goals
This is my favorite. Just as the name implies, it’s all about setting attainable goals as a couple and working towards them together. Most times, we can get so focused on our individual lives that we forget or neglect some key things in our relationship. This neglect can make your relationship seem boring. In order to spice things up a bit, you can set a couple of goals.
The best goals are the longer ones because obviously, they last longer and that translates to a lot of time together to strengthen your bond. However, it’s advisable to start with shorter goals, and then move to longer ones. Here is 10 Couple Goals We Actually Need in Our Relationships. Choose wisely.
This is one common way to spice things up but the only problem is that not everyone can afford it; either because of time or money.
A vacation could be a week or more, or even a weekend getaway. If you can afford a vacation but it’s time constraints that keep stopping you, then it’s high time you clear your schedule and give your partner a well-deserved vacation. It would really really spice up your relationship.
5. Romantic dates
Classy clothes, fancy restaurants and a table for two. That’s the known motto of every romantic date, though it doesn’t have to be so. A romantic date doesn’t have to be with clothes you can’t afford or a fancy restaurant that can bankrupt you with one meal. With that in mind, when was the last time you went on a romantic date with your lover? Things can get boring really fast if one of you in a relationship loves romantic dates a lot, whereas going on such dates is rare in your relationship.
So one way you can definitely spice things up in your relationship is to take your partner out on a romantic date. If you can’t afford a fancy place, plan the date within your budget. If you already go to fancy places a lot, then it’s time to mix it up. Prepare a very nice meal, set the table at an unusual spot and decorate it. Get the wine ready and call your partner over for the romantic dinner.
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Spicing up your relationship is necessary whether in the dating stage or marriage. You may choose to talk to your partner about it and try to do it together or you could take the initiative and start doing it on your own. Your spouse will definitely feel the positive impact it will have on your relationship and join you. Thanks for reading and I hope it helps you spice up your relationship!