Not everyone has the luxury of having their partner next to them at all times. There are moments in life when something very important has to take you away from your partner or vise vasa for a while. Those moments are the turning point in all relationships. It either marks the end of the relationship or the beginning of a new era of Long-Distance Relationship”. If you choose to enter the new era of Long Distance Relationship, then you must be prepared on some of the problems with Long-Distance Relationship.
Here are a few problems with Long-Distance Relationships:
Time is very crucial for the growth of every relationship. It helps the couple to strengthen their bonds. It gives them more opportunities to crush more on their partner. Time for each other is very important if the relationship is to continue.
In a normal relationship, it’s easier to create time out to spend together. Most times the person can spend the weekend with you or the person lives a stone throw away.
But, the problem of a long-distance relationship is that it makes it very difficult for you to accomplish this. Mainly because both parties are very busy with other things and their free time does not correlate.
The solution of the time problem in a long-distance relationship is for the couple to have a little chat and fix a particular time in a day when they are both to communicate with each other unfailingly.
You can call it a daily date if you want. This should be a sacred time and no one should give an excuse for not being there. While on the date, the main and only focus should your partner and nothing else.
There will be moments when you will really need your partner to be physically present for an important event in your life or you just want them to comfort you. But, the distance between you and your partner might seem like a giant mountain and you are both on the opposite sides. You feel completely alone even though you know you are not alone. Moments like this, you would feel like it’s just you against the world.
This problem can cause sadness and on the extreme side, depression for those who are overwhelmed.
One way to solve this problem is to instantly call the person. Hearing the person’s voice will act as a soothing medicine for all the loneliness you are feeling. It can’t in any way replace the feeling of the person being physically present with you/cuddling you. But it will serve at the moment.
- Open to new distractions
“While the cat is away, the rat comes out to play”
This is the biggest problem with Long-Distance Relationship. This is one of the reasons why long-distance relationships do not last.
In a Long Distance Relationship, the couple is individually far apart. It can cause one person to seek for a stranger to fill up the void their partner left behind.
Most times, they are not the ones that go on a hunt for a temporary replacement. Life just serves it on a silver platter.
The solution to this problem in a Long-Distance Relationship is to simply keep your eyes focused on the prize. Distraction will definitely come, especially with more time apart. It’s your ability to spot the distractions early and take your eyes off it before it becomes a problem in your relationship.
A stroll in the pack won’t cost you a dime, one peck on your lover’s cheek won’t cost you a penny. Hearing their voice wouldn’t cost you either if the person wasn’t that far. But in a Long-distance relationship, everything is money. It would cost you twice as much if you really want to maintain the relationship the way it was before the distance.
To see your lovers face would consume huge data if it’s a long call. To hear the person’s voice is still money. And if it’s a foreign country, it would cost you a whole lot more.
To solve this problem, all you have to do is to create a special budget. This budget would be for calls, data, surprise visits, gifts to be sent across, you name it. Do not use this budget for any other thing. Also, do not spend beyond your set budget. Talk to your partner about it so they can know how much you are working with to avoid friction in the future.
- No more new memories
Naturally, the human brain seeks higher thrills. It’s in a constant search for something higher than the last. This also happens in a relationship. We are constantly on the search for new sweeter memories. This is the reason why many married couples complain of boredom after marriage.
What simply happened is that they stopped creating sweeter memories, so the brain got bored.
At first, this might look like it isn’t a major problem in a long-distance relationship. After closely looking at it, you would begin to see how great of an impact it has on a relationship.
The sad news is that, in Long Distance Relationship, it’s very hard to create sweeter memories that can beat what you had when the person was with you. That then leads to boredom and making the person prone to an external source of sweeter memories. Which usually entails cheating or ending the Long Distance Relationship.
Like I first pointed out, it might be very hard to create sweeter memories from the distance. But here is something you can do. The brain is looking for new thrills, right? Then give it what it wants. Regularly, try new things over the distance together. Things like signing together over a video call or teasing each other sexually over the camera, etc. Look for creative new things to add spice into the relationship.
- Lack of sex
This is a very obvious problem with Long Distance Relationship. Over a long distance, it is impossible to have sex with each other like before. This is a bigger problem for those who are addicted to sex. Because in a Long Distance Relationship, you will have to travel long miles just to have sex with your partner.
All those blissful moments in bed, the late-night lovemaking, quickies in weird positions, they are all over.
Like every other solution, this isn’t a holy grail and would never be as good as the one you have with the person in person. The solution lies in lots of sexting, dirty talking, masturbating together over the phone or camera.
- Strong doubt
“How sure am I that he isn’t sleeping with another girl over there? and I am here being faithful”. “Is there any need to keep this relationship going? What if after all these things, it still doesn’t work out?”. “The statistics of a successful long-distance relationship is very poor, what is the possibility that mine would work out”.
There are tons of doubts that may run through your mind a million times. I just had a chat with a friend last night and because of these doubts, she might end up cheating soon. After all my attempts to change her mind failed, I had to let it slide.
Whenever those doubts start coming out, remember why you are in the Long Distance Relationship in the first place. Let those reasons sink the doubts. Let your eyes be focused on the end goal and not on the current situation.
Talk to your partner about your doubts, let the person reassure you of his/her commitment to the relationship.
Walk down memory lane of all the beautiful moments you both share. Let those memories give you more reason to hold on tight till you reunite with your love.
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