Staying True to Yourself

Staying True to Yourself in a Relationship: 12 Best Tips

Being in a relationship with someone you love often comes with spending time and doing many activities together. But sometimes, this connection comes with losing sight of who you are. 

It could start slowly: liking the movies your partner likes. Over time, you could lose yourself to the point where you begin to adopt their values, act like they do, or only do things that please them over yourself. 

Other times, you’re not authentic because you’ve caved under the pressure of life and who society expects you to be. Rather than staying true to yourself in a relationship, you put on a mask and strive to live by the standards set by your partner and others. 

Eventually, this habit could make you feel dissatisfied with your relationship and life. If you’re wondering how to stay true to yourself in a relationship, we have listed some tips to help you.

12 Tips for Staying True to Yourself in a Relationship

1. Practice Self Love 

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There are so many reasons you should love yourself, one of which includes being able to recognize and embrace your authenticity. When that happens, it becomes easier for you to maintain a healthy relationship with others.  

Moreso, loving yourself helps you know your worth and gain the self-respect you deserve. You’ll be able to make meaningful sacrifices without ignoring your partner’s needs or neglecting yourself. 

On the other hand, when you lack self-love, it’s easy to create a mask of who you desire to be. You tailor yourself to suit the needs of others while neglecting yours. The result is an unhappy and unfulfilled life.

Do this: Staying true to yourself in a relationship can only happen when you recognize who you are and appreciate your worth. To achieve this, keep a journal of your likes or dislikes, take some alone time to rediscover who you’re. Always commend yourself, celebrate your little wins, and speak to yourself kindly.

Also Read: How Does It Feel To Be Loved In A Relationship

2. Never Lie About Who You Are 

One way to lose sight of who you are is by spreading lies or creating false ideas about yourself. 

For instance, when preparing for a first date, there’re expectations, questions to answer, and the need to impress your date. This might stir the urge to exaggerate or lie about yourself. When you lie, you put yourself on a high pedestal and cause your partner to set unrealistic standards you might not live up to during the relationship. 

Also, you might never get to find out the real you because everyone you meet will have a contrasting account of the life you live. 

Do this: So when the thought of spreading false information comes to your mind, know that the truth will always surface and will cause more damage to your personality. Be yourself always because there’s someone out there who’d appreciate the person you’re.

3. Don’t Change Your Rules to Impress Someone

Staying true to yourself in a relationship can become difficult to accomplish if you’re one who constantly set aside your healthy habits to accommodate or impress people. This habit could lead you to making several bad choices which eventually would end in a life of regrets.

Do this: Ensure you stick to your rules and reaffirm them when you feel pressured. Let your partner know how impactful these rules have been and reject every offer that might cause you to deviate.

4. Nurture Your Willpower

love yourself more and say no more
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Willpower is simply the sheer determination to control your mind and body in unfavorable situations. It takes a person with strong willpower to stay true to themselves and reject what they don’t want. 

For instance, you might never want to smoke but attending events with a partner who might be a social smoker means being exposed to opportunities to break your rule. When everyone in your midst is smoking, would you say “no” and be made fun of, or say “yes” to look cool?

Do this: When you nurture your willpower, you’ll be able to stay in character and refuse what doesn’t align with your life goals in any situation. 

5. Set and Reinforce Boundaries

Setting necessary boundaries will help you live a happier and healthy life. Staying true to yourself in a relationship requires you to reinforce these boundaries.

Do this: When you reinforce your limits, you protect yourself from external factors that might diminish your self-worth. So always review boundaries to see if they still reflect who you are and that your partner understands the importance of these boundaries to you and your well-being. 

It’s also necessary to adjust your boundaries to fit any changes in your life. But never accept a violation as it’ll cause you to let in things that might harm your self-worth.

6. Do What Makes You Happy

A lot of times, the reason for not being happy in a relationship is that we only do what makes our partner happy. Not only does this cause unhappiness, but it also hinders you from staying true to yourself in a relationship.

When you pretend to like what your partner prefers or make sacrifices that benefit them alone, you become a shadow of yourself. Essentially, it means you’ve completely given up your happiness..

Do this: Take some time to do what gives you joy because this is the best way to rediscover who you’re.

7. Find Your Purpose in Life

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It’s easy to lose your purpose in life, especially if you mirror your partner. This is bound to happen once you’re with someone for a long time. Their hobby becomes yours. Maybe you even like the same colors and set the same goals as them. If these aren’t what you truly want, you end up becoming someone you’re not. 

Eventually, you may feel unfilled, disconnected, or as if something is missing in your life. 

Do this: To find your purpose and stay true to yourself, develop a growth mindset. Think of your vision; things you’ll love to achieve. Chase those things, explore your passion and accept yourself as you are. 

Also Read: 10 Wrong Reasons To Be In A Relationship

8. Keep the Right Company

A 2019 study published in Sage Journals suggests that feelings of authenticity are related to our positive social interactions and satisfaction with personal relationships. This shows that keeping the wrong company can hinder you from staying true to yourself in a relationship and in other aspects of your life.

Do this: Knowing how to make friends as an adult will improve your chances of not deviating from your authentic self. Keep friends who share similar dreams, morals, and goals with you. Also, your partner shouldn’t be someone who pushes you to do things that are against your core belief. Neither should they lead you to create a fake impression of yourself.

9. Have a Clear Opinion

Do this: Always have a clear viewpoint, stand by it, and never give room for others to form an opinion for you or force their opinion on you. 

Don’t shy away from speaking your mind when asked to share your thoughts. By stating your opinion, you show that you’re completely honest with yourself and others.

10. Don’t Give Attention to Negative Words and Ideologies

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Words have weight. In today’s world, when someone doesn’t conform to people’s standard, there are always people around to say negative things about you. Sometimes, these people speak from a place of envy. 

Maybe you’ve witnessed a lot of this scenario outside or in your relationship, that you hide yourself behind a mask to avoid the negative words. 

This fear of what people might say about you could cause you to lose self-esteem. Also, embracing wrong ideologies of how a relationship should be will cause you to become someone else.

For instance, most people have a preconceived idea that a relationship is not solid if both of you rarely quarrel. If you’re a peaceful person, running with this ideology will turn you into a troublesome person and cause you to lose your true nature. 

Do this: Ask yourself this question: do you want to live the life you want, the one you’ve always dreamed of? Or would you prefer to live an unhappy life because of what people would say about you?  

11. Improve Self-awareness 

Another tip for staying true to yourself in a relationship is to have conscious knowledge of your individuality. Being self-aware allows you to focus on yourself and identify when your thoughts and actions don’t align with your values.It also helps you discover your strengths, weaknesses, triggers, motivators, e.t.c. 

Do this: To improve self-awareness, assess your actions and behaviors. Take some time to meditate. And when you identify a pattern in your behavior, take note of it or write it down so you can review it later.

12. Take Responsibility for Your Actions

Staying true to yourself in a relationship isn’t just about honesty but also about taking responsibility for your actions. 

Do this: When you make a mistake or do something wrong, own up to it even if you’re afraid or ashamed. This behavior shows that you recognize you’re not perfect. However, pushing the blame means denying your imperfections which will make you unwilling to work on yourself.


Being the fake version of yourself can leave you feeling empty. Sometimes, it might seem like someone is pulling you in different directions. Staying true to yourself in a relationship is one way to fill the emptiness and stay on track.

Rather than wear a mask to be accepted, embrace your self-worth and be honest with yourself. If your partner doesn’t like the real you, it might be time to end your relationship. Remember, there’s someone who’ll appreciate and accept you for who you are.