Imagine you were to run a long race like a marathon or cross country, or a car race, or just hike a long journey. One of the most important things you have to do is ensure you don’t carry unnecessary weight, so you can run faster and longer. Carrying unnecessary heavyweight will sink a ship faster in stormy weather.
The same thing applies to relationships, in other for your relationship to last longer and go further than the average life span of a relationship, you have to get rid of unnecessary weights that have a higher chance of slowing you down than helping you grow or go further.
Here are some of those extra unnecessary weights you need to let go of in your relationship.
1. Solo thinking
The moment you enter into a relationship, your thinking process has to shift from solo thoughts like “My, I, Me” to “Ours, Us, We”
You are to no more think of only yourself, but of yourself and your partner.
How will your actions make the person feel?
What sweet gesture can you do for the person?
What are your future plans as a couple?
How does your partner fit into your personal life goals and ambition?
Let go of your solo thoughts and embrace the warmth of thinking as a couple.
We all grew up with this saying “Pride goes before a fall”, it is absolutely correct. Pride A.K.A Ego leads to the downfall of any relationship.
For a relationship to reach heights of success, you have to let go of pride. Regardless of your current role in the world or your crucial role to your partner, you need to embrace a humble spirit in your relationship.
Many men allow the ancient norm that men are the head of the home and are superior to the females to eat so much into their minds that they no longer lend a listening ear to their women and never take what they say seriously.
Also, some women earn much more than their husbands and/or occupy a much more powerful position in society. Having such roles is a blessing to the world and a big win to the females, but the moment she allows that pride to be carried over to her relationship with her man, it starts destroying the relationship from the inside.
These are just a few of such examples. We must let go of pride for a relationship to blossom.
3. Baggage from Exs
Take a look at the man in the picture carrying so many bags at the same time. How can he go far without dying if he continues to hold on to those bags?
That’s the same thing many people do in the dating world today. They are so busy holding on to the baggage of their past relationship that it ends up crushing their new relationship and add to the existing baggage as they move on to the next unsuspecting victim.
You can’t smell the roses when you are struggling under the weight of 3 tons of baggage from your last 3 relationships. Drop that baggage and smell the roses of your new relationship.
A romantic relationship that is built on the foundation of love can not survive without the spirit of giving. Love is all about giving, you give your heart, time, resources, trust, gifts, promises, etc.
A person who is selfish in all these things can not make a good partner. To reach success in your relationship, you have to let go of selfishness and pick up the spirit of giving. Living each day in your relationship like it’s Christmas, showering your spouse with different kinds of gifts.
Everyone seeks freedom, but here on earth, no one is truly free. There are always some limitations to what you can do. Even with all the richest, you can possibly get, you ain’t still free. In fact, the wealth would create a self-imposed prison for you because you will move around with many guards as the convicts in prison.
If you are the type searching for the highest form of freedom, then you shouldn’t be in a relationship. Relationships limit your freedom on some certain things like, who you talk with, what time you get back, who you get intimate with, at some points also limits the height you get to.
The earlier you let go of certain freedom, the more likely to succeed your relationship will become.
Scoreboards keep a track record of every time your partner did you wrong, so you can even the score out In the future by doing something wicked to deliberately hurt them as well.
Scoreboards never help a relationship grow, instead, it kills it quicker by plunging the relationship into a never-ending cycle of revenge and more damage.
You have to let go of the scoreboard. If your partner offends you, you either forgive them, learn how to forgive, or walk away with your head held high and your broken heart that will learn to love again.
7. Relationship norms
What kills many relationships are norms. These norms appear in different forms that you may be following and yet not know you are. Such norms are:
“Domestic works are for women only”
“Diamond rings are best to symbolize your love”
“Men should never show weakness, not even to their wives”
In relationships, there is no golden bullet. What works for your neighbor may not work for you even though it is what made your neighbor’s relationship grow stronger.
Ultimately, you and your spouse are responsible for finding a system that works great for you both and adopting it. Play around with some already existing systems to see if any fits, if they don’t, then cut and join 2 or 3 together and try it out, if that still doesn’t work, it’s time you both get creative and come up with something new that matches both your personalities and lifestyle. Only then will you be able to have a successful relationship.
8. Your flaws
There is no man without a flaw or two. But imagine for a moment a world where everyone is actively trying to improve on their weaknesses, it would be a better world than this.
The same applies to a relationship, when a couple is actively trying to drop their bad habits and flaws for the growth of their relationship, the relationship is bound to succeed.
More often than not, a couple becomes complacent in their effort to improve themselves, which in turn stunts the growth of the relationship and makes the relationship boring.
In the next blog post we will discuss extensively on ways to improve your relationship by improving yourself, so stay tuned to all our social media platforms for the update.