The pains of a one-sided love can only be best understood by someone who has had such unreturned love before. That pain of giving your all to one person and not getting nothing in return.
In this article, I won’t just help you understand one-sided love, I will also show you the signs that signify that it’s a one-sided love and how to handle it the right way. So stay glued to your screen while I share with you a million-dollar knowledge.
Meaning of one-sided love
One-sided love simply means unreturned love. It means when you love a person with all you have but the person doesn’t seem to care.
One-sided love is that feeling of unsatisfied love. That feeling you get when you show your spouse so much love but your spouse partly/completely ignores to return the love.
Signs of one-sided love in a relationship
- Your needs always come last
- You are never certain if the person truly loves you or not
- You are the one only making all the sacrifices in the relationship
- The only person making efforts to keep the relationship going is you
- You get little or no attention from the person
- In most cases, you find yourself begging for a little love and affection.
- You still feel lonely in the relationship
- Sadness creeps in when you think of the person
- Always unsatisfied with what you get in return for your love.
- You had to google this question to find a solution 😉
Causes of One-sided love
One-sided love isn’t a natural occurrence, it’s caused by something and these are a few of them
1. Not understanding love language of your partner:
Each person has a language in which they understand love. If you don’t use this language on them, they won’t feel you love them.
For example, a lady who feels loved only when a man helps her with her works and chores and simplifies things for her is married to a man who is a workaholic and believes love should be shown through gifts.
The lady would feel her love is one-sided if the man doesn’t take time out of his busy schedule to help her once in a while as he does for him regularly.
2. Hurt from the past
Some people are good in nursing hurt in their hearts for a long period of time without it healing. If your partner is still angry over something you did long ago, that anger can turn the relationship into a one-sided love.
You will try all your best to show the person how much you love them but they will make little or no effort to return such love because they are still mad over something in the past.
3. Third-person in the picture
Not everyone can pretend to love two people at a time. Once they fall in love with another person, they will be unable to return your love no matter how hard you try.
This is one of the most painful causes of one-sided love. It would rip your heart if you find out the one whom you and have been giving so much for so long has been unable to love you back because they are deeply in love with someone else.
4. Fantasy love
Have you met people who always see things in ways that are not true? People who continually lie to themselves.
They are the ones that easily fall into one-sided love because they will start imagining that the little good that was done to them means that the person loves them.
With that in mind, they will coarse the person to agree to date them. But shortly after it turns to a one-sided relationship.
How to properly deal with one-sided love in a relationship
We just went through the causes of one-sided love and now, I will show you how to deal with those causes.
1. Get the person to understand your love language
People generally show love in the same way they want to be loved. So, if your spouse has a different love language than you, then he would try his best to show you love from his own love language.
In this case, all you have to do is to get him/her to understand your own love language and he/she should use it to express his/her love towards you. You can achieve that by buying him the book on Love language from amazon or give the person the audio version which is completely free on amazon.
2. Heal the wounds of the past:
Like we had explained earlier, a wound from the past can cause the person to never return your love the way you want.
To stop the one-sided love, you have to first find out what caused the anger from the past. It might be something you did or baggage from a past relationship.
You can discover the cause either by asking the person directly or closely observing and thinking back of every unresolved issue you had with the person.
Next, you are to help the person heal from the past hurt or let go of past baggage. This is the hard part, it may have become a second nature of the person so changing may be hard. But if you truly apologize with love and keep asking for a change, the change will come.
3. Win their love again:
The next cause of one-sided love is a third person in the picture. Which means their love and heart belongs to another.
At this point, you can both give up and break it off completely or you can try to win back their love from the third person.
This shouldn’t be too hard since you have done it before and this time you are not starting from the grass root since you two already have memories together.
So good luck in winning their heart back.
4. Wake up to reality:
It good to build fantasy worlds once in a while, but it is very important you know when to wake up from such fantasy and embrace reality.
I have a friend who is very good at building fantasy worlds. It’s a great skill for his creative and engineering side but it’s a big turn off when he applies it to women. It always ends him up in a one-sided love relationship that doesn’t last at all.
If the reader falls under this category, you may find it hard to believe. The best way to find out is usually from a trusted friend or you can replay things slowly in your head and try to tell yourself the truth if the person ever loved you from the get-go or it has all been in your head.
If you find out that the person had never loved you, it’s advisable to quit as soon as you can and find someone who would truly love you as you are.
Important FAQs about one-sided love
Can one-sided love be successful?
YES, it can be, but it solely depends on how you handle it. As I explained earlier in this article, some one-sided love just needs a little work and it would become a success. You can go back to the top to find out more about that.
Why does one-sided love hurt so much?
One-sided love hurt so much because of the high expectations we have when we give our heart and love to another person. It’s human to expect something in return, but when that high expectation ain’t met it hurts so much.
Is one-sided love worth it?
No one deserves to be neglected that much so I would say it isn’t worth it. That’s why I would strongly advise you to make it work fast or you leave the person for your own heart's sake.