What do women want on a first date?
That is a million dollar question.
For most people, the goal of a first date is to meet someone you would build a relationship with, and perhaps one day a family. But without knowing what the other person expects, you might never make it to the end of the date—much less a second date.
Luckily, if you are going on a first date with a woman, we have all the answers you need. We asked some members in our Quora community of over 128k followers what women expect on a first date. Check out what they have to say.
What Women Want On A First Date
According to one of the members of our community, “the number one thing a woman will always want on a first date is to have fun with you, sit comfortably listening to your conversation.”
It’s a no-brainer that everyone wants to have a great time on their first date. Yes, uncertainties and jitters could come up while you are in the preparation stage because meeting someone new who you would love to impress can be a bit nerve-racking. That’s normal. But it should not ruin your first date.
Focusing on creating a fun experience will help you both relax and enjoy getting to know each other. Start making plans for the date ahead of time, at least a week before and most importantly, choose places and activities that would make your date comfortable.
- Meaningful Conversations
No one enjoys making time, dressing up, and going out to meet someone only to sit through boring, meaningless conversations. Many women feel strongly about this.
Tabitha says women want to hold “meaningful conversations and know similar things you both have in common.”
Geri also mentioned that she would like to “just have a conversation and see what you’re both into. A walk in the park is my favorite idea” and Ruby says she would like “a guy to have normal conversations, not get passed tipsy and pay for the date.”
This shows that knowing what to talk about on first dates will likely score you a second date and a partner who can match your energy.
Snabo says a woman needs “attention, and she needs to feel like she is the one.” And she is not alone.
A study on sage Journals says that paying attention to your date will allow you to communicate your interest and increase their feeling of intimacy towards you.
The most obvious ways to give her your attention include paying her compliments, choosing activities that interest her, talking less about yourself, and attentively listening when she talks.
- Satisfy Their Curiosity
Most people, especially women, go on first dates to satisfy their curiosity. They want to know what kind of relationship you want and if you are who they truly want. Four women agree to this first date expectation:
Adoreher says she wants to “get to know the person and see if a second and more date is on the cards. Dinner shows that you’re invested in this, not drinks that can cloud judgment. Inviting me to dinner then downgrading to a drink is not on and you’ll look cheap and selfish.”
Fiinas says she would want a “proper introduction, including the type of relationship the person is looking forward to.”
Another member believes that “she wants to see what you are made of and don’t dare try and take her to bed if you want to see her again.”
So, how do you satisfy a woman’s curiosity on the first date? It’s simple—by being yourself. Our member says you have to “stop worrying about what the perfect thing to say is. Be yourself and be genuine. No one wants to meet someone’s ‘representative’. If you connect and hit it off, great! If there is no spark or talk of seeing each other again, move on. There are plenty of decent singles out there. If you try too hard, you will lose your genuine self.”
- Great Personality
There are specific qualities that women deem attractive, and could even get you a second date. One of these qualities is your personality. Many women just want to meet someone with a great personality and go from there.
So what makes up a great personality? For many women, it means different things and the answers we received proved this to be true.
One of our respondents said “I expect gentlemanly behavior”. When asked what can be termed gentlemanly behavior, the response was “someone who would open the door, hold out the chair and care for her comfort.”
Another member, Patti, says she “expects you to pay for dinner.” Also, “How do you go with communication and conversation? How do you carry yourself as a gentleman?”
Tamikko says she wants “intelligence without arrogance, humor without sinister sarcasm, honesty without manipulation, generosity without desperation, a non-codependent human being without ulterior motives. Someone stylish without vanity. 🏆.”
C says she wants “a gentleman” and Olive says all she wants is for you to “be nice.”
Women have many expectations but what they want remains the same across the board — they want to be comfortable, have fun, meet someone that is real, and be satisfied knowing it was not a mistake accepting to go on a date with you.
Having a good knowledge of how to treat a woman on a first date will not only move you to a second date but would also help you gain a partner who could eventually become the love of your life. How can you achieve this?
Get to know her expectations. In your zeal to impress her, never forget to be yourself. Avoid conversations centered around sex unless you are both interested. Treat her right and have a good time!