Recently, I was having a chat with my girlfriend about our relationship and where it is heading. We talked about when we individually want to get married (we do talk about it once in a while). It was that discussion that inspired me to write on this topic.
Today, we will be covering some key reasons why your boyfriend hasn’t proposed yet and some important things you should keep in mind.
As a bonus, I will be sharing with you a photo write up that truly changed my view on relationships, marriages, and life careers.
I hope you read to the end because this post will surely add clarity to a lot of my readers out there no matter where you are.
Reasons why your boyfriend is yet to propose
There are a few possible reasons why he hasn’t proposed and, we will be looking into each of them.
1. He has no intention of getting married to you
The first possible reason why he hasn’t proposed yet is because he has no intention of getting married to you. You may not want to believe it, but there is a real chance that your boyfriend falls under this category.
You may not be what he considers wife material. He probably knew from the conception of the relationship that you are not the type of girl he wants to marry but he carried on with the relationship for fun and it’s other benefits.
The last point is that he may have no intention to marry at all. There is a rare set of people, men and women alike who have decided to never get married or never get married again due to reasons best known to them.
2. Financial constraints
Your boyfriend may already have all the intention in the world to propose to you, but something called “Money” keeps stopping him. Money is very important in life as well as marriages. The degree of it and its importance varies from person to person. But when it comes to planning a wedding and life after the wedding, money plays a key role.
If you are the type of girl that wants a flamboyant wedding and has told your boyfriend about your dream wedding. He may not have proposed because he doesn’t have the resources to make your dream come true.
There is another category under this reason. He may not have proposed because he hasn’t gotten to a certain financial level that he feels is ideal in order to properly maintain a home.
I fall under the category of guys who haven’t proposed go their girlfriends because they haven’t gotten to a certain financial level. This is also the major reason why a lot of boyfriends in African countries haven’t proposed. Unlike the western world where you are expected to perform only one wedding. In the African world, there are extra financial hurdles you are to cross before getting married.
There is something called “Bride price“. It is paid by the groom to the bride’s family as a form of appreciation for raising the girl. After that, you are to perform a traditional marriage ceremony, then the English wedding in the church. In recent times, a court wedding is now being added. So if you are in Africa, this might be the reason why he hasn’t proposed
3. He is not yet mentally ready for marriage
Marriage requires a certain level of mental readiness. Before he proposes, he has to be ready to accept all the responsibilities and restrictions that come with the proposal.
For guys who love their independence/freedom, proposing to their girlfriend will be an issue because marriage feels like chains or cage to them. Until they are willing to let go of the sea of options and stick with just one girl for the rest of their life, they may never propose.
Also, he may be scared of commitments, and that’s the reason he hasn’t proposed.
4. He hasn’t decided if he wants to spend forever with you or not
Another reason why he hasn’t proposed yet maybe because he hasn’t made up his mind on if he wants you as a wife or just a girlfriend. We talked about something similar in number 1 but this time, we are referring to the point he hasn’t made up his mind yet.
Have you ever been in a relationship where you aren’t sure if he is the one or not? If he proposes at that time, you will need a longer time to think about it or even give him a flat No.
Your boyfriend may be in such a position right now and have not really decided if you are the One.
5. His ideal marriage stage of life haven’t reached
Everyone including you has an ideal stage in life when you desire to get married. That desired state may have reached for you but your boyfriend may have not gotten to that stage. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to propose or that he is just using you as a fling. It only means he needs more time to get to his own ideal stage.
It would be selfish to try to force his hands to propose because you have reached your ideal stage when he is yet to reach his.
6. Career goals
This is another strong factor that influences when he will propose. Some people propose before taking a big step in a career like relocation or promotion that requires marriage, others wait till their career gives them a break while others take a break from career to get married.
It all depends on the type of boyfriend you have and the stage of his career he is in. Usually, those who are just starting up a business that has lots of challenges find it difficult to propose until the business has gained ground.
Important tips to have in mind while you eagerly wait for a proposal
- Marriage should be a willful act. Do not force his hands in marrying you.
- Don’t act desperate to get married, it’s a turnoff for most guys.
- Surprise proposals are the most romantic ones, don’t pry too much until he shows you the ring.
- Marriage is just a knot that tires your relationship stronger, so pay more attention to your relationship because what you see is what you get after marriage.
- The ugly truth is, he may not propose to you at all. You might end up with someone new.