Breakups are hard but necessary, especially when you’re emotionally checked out of the relationship. However, timing is important. Why? There are some worst times to break up with someone. So, doing the right thing at the wrong time can diminish the good in what you’re doing.
This timing doesn’t apply if you’re going through abuse of any kind. Break ups in this case should be swift and immediate.
Besides abuse, if you’ve found yourself in a situation where you wonder if that moment is the right time to end things. Or maybe you’ve seen some signs that suggest it is time to end the relationship, don’t do it just yet. Check out this list of 14 worst times to breakup with someone to know if you’re on the right track.
The Worst Times to Break Up with Someone
1. When They’re Depressed
Breaking up with your partner when they’re depressed can be catastrophic. What makes this the worst time to break up with someone is that it can plunge them into a greater level of depression, or worse—self harm. But having a loved one by their side can help improve their mental health.
However, if staying with them threatens your well-being, convince them to see a professional and break up when they get the help they need. Also, be kind and gentle with your words when telling them you’re leaving. They’ll also feel better if you let them know the breakup is not their fault.
2. When They’re Dealing With a Major Loss
“If someone is battling a major health issue, dealing with a death in the family, or recovering from a layoff, breaking up with them adds insult to injury” – Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Chandrama Anderson, LMFT on Bustle
Dealing with a major loss can be painful. This loss can be a job, the death of a close family or friend, a business going bankrupt, and so forth. Breaking up with a person at such times will make them feel abandoned and cause trust issues..
3. On Valentine’s Day
The day of love is also the worst time to break up with someone. Although we show love every other day, Valentine’s day is a special day set aside to share gifts and reaffirm your love for your partner. They may have made plans to surprise you or have some expectations from you.
Pulling the plug on your relationship at that time would diminish their sense of belonging. But if you want to break up with them, do so before Valentine’s Day.
4. During Festive Periods
Festive periods are times to celebrate and the worst time to break up with someone. Breaking up with them at those times can potentially ruin the celebration and give them bad memories. Also, they’ll be revisiting these memories every season and are likely to hate those periods for a long time.
5. When They’re Battling a Serious/Terminal Illness
Sickness has a way of pulling people to the lowest point of their lives. When people battle with their health, they need love and support to make a quick recovery.
In fact, a 2020 study found that social support (like hand-holding) from a romantic partner can reduce pain. Breaking up with them when they’re battling serious health issues will take away that support they would get from you. This gives them more pain to deal with while they’re battling for their lives.
6. Recovering From Addiction
A 2021 research shows that negative emotions like sadness, disappointment, or anger increase the inclination to relapse in recovering addicts. A breakup can trigger these negative emotions which can cause relapse in the early stages of recovery. This shows that the worst time to break up with someone is when they’re recovering from addiction.
7. Before an Important Event
Important events like exams, interviews, or presentations can make or mar people’s lives and careers. These events require them to prepare without distractions and mental or emotional stress.
Breaking up with someone at this point could cause distractions and hamper their performance. Before they can get over the breakup and put themselves together, they would have lost that job, or promotion, or failed the exam.
8. At a Family Gathering
Family gatherings is a time for happiness, reconnection, and strengthening bonds with loved ones. Breaking up with someone at such a place would ruin the mood of everyone at the gathering. Rather than enjoy whatever event brought them together, they would spend time consoling your partner.
Also, the mere thought of their family in one place will trigger memories of the breakup. It might even cause some embarrassment for your partner if an insensitive relative continuously bring up the break up later on.
9. When they Propose in Public
Breaking up after a private proposal can be humiliating, but what’s even more humiliating is breaking up with someone when they propose in public. This rejection would cause trust issues and take a long time for the person to get over it.
Moreso, they might find it difficult to muster up the courage and propose to another girl in the future. Once you realize a relationship is heading nowhere, it’s best to break it off before a marriage proposal unless there was a prior agreement to date for fun.
10. The Person’s Birthday
Just like every other special day, birthdays are meant to bring joy, love, and happiness. Friends and family will be sending gifts and special messages, but you’d be sending breakup texts and ruining what would have been a happy moment.
11. When They Have a Guest Over
The worst time to break up with someone is when they have guests over. These people could be co-workers or potential clients. So starting a breakup drama in their presence will undermine your partner and put those guests in an awkward position.
12. The Moment You Decide that You Want a Breakup
Kevin Darné, the author of My Cat Won’t Bark! (A Relationship Epiphany), says “The worst way to time a breakup is to do it the moment you make the decision instead of sitting on it.”
Breakups are personal and should not be done at the burst of emotions. It should be calculated, and carefully carried out in such a way that spares the other person’s feelings.
Also, you need extra time to decide if a breakup is what you want. However, the only exception to this timing is in the case of abuse, infidelity, a toxic relationship or any other hurt your partner inflicts on you..
13. While Having Fun
Another worst time to break up with someone is when you are both having fun. This will ruin the person’s day and might cause them to dread having fun in the future.
Also, visiting such fun places might become difficult because it’ll remind them of how their best moment turned sour.
14. When You’re Caught Cheating
When you’re caught cheating, an apology is required to show you’re remorseful. Although apologizing might not get the person back, it’ll help heal their emotional wounds.
However, when you ignore what you did and use a breakup as an escape, it shows you don’t respect or value them.
The worst time to break up with someone is when they’re dealing with a loss, battling with their health, recovering from addiction, or preparing for important events. Breaking up at these times doesn’t only hurt them, it could leave long-lasting damage.
Before sending that breakup text, consider the point they’re at in their lives. Then decide if you would want to wait a little more. However, the exception to this is if you find yourself in an abusive or toxic relationship.